STOP THE BULLYING

Dancing at the DMZ. There might be hope for us afterall.

Literally

I have been waging a personal war against the improper use of the word "literally" for several years. One does a lot of things but one usually doesn't do things "literally".
Finally, the people at The Oatmeal have taken on the cause as well.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/literally

Remember this chart to help you know when you have "literally" done something or you have "figuratively" done something.

Thank you in advance for helping me save the English language!

Passengers, how do I catagorize thee?

As most of you know, I'm a flight attendant. I work for a huge airline that flies to hundreds of cities across six continents (and I'm sure they are working on getting us to Antarctica as well). We fly people from all countries, cultures and creeds around the world and back. It's an amazing job and one that I still love but there are days (and people) that put that love to the test. Today, we're going to talk about a few of them.
First off, there are the obvious ones-

1-Luggage Hauler-This is the person that is heading to Orlando for the week to buy $8 Coke's and $12 kids portion Mickey Meals but then gets cheap and won't check baggage and takes 15 minutes finding places to put it all.
2-Mouth- The guy that sits beside you and yammers on about anything and everything even AFTER you put on your headphones, close your eyes and pull a blanket over your head (I've seen this happen.)
3-The Authority-You're delayed due to weather but this guy knows better. His wife is standing in their back yard and she SWEARS that it is clear as a bell there so the airline must be lying! Unfortunately this guys backyard NEVER has a 14,000 ft. long runway with an air traffic control tower and jet bridges.

Those are some of the more obvious ones but here are a few I deal with that might be not so obvious to those not pulling five hundred pounds of soda and snack boxes up and down an aisle.


4-The Grazer- My airline offers passengers several free snack choices during flight. It's a choice but the grazer makes it a buffet. I say "Would you like peanuts, pretzels or cookies?" and the grazer responds "I'll take one of each". I always look at them totally amazed, it's really not a meal, nor is it meant to be! Pick one and be done with it. (BTW..the cookies are REALLY good.)
5- The Salt Lick- This person (almost always a male) makes me run for the water pills. I'm disgusted by tomato juice to begin with but this passenger makes me just want to hurl. This passenger orders a glass of tomato juice (or bloody mary mix, which is even WORSE) and then want pretzels to go with that. BLECH. Worse yet, it's on an airplane that dehydrates you horribly. Drinking a sodium laden beverage with pretzels is the WORST thing you can do to yourself. Grab some water and you'll better off.
6-The Shocked and Awed- One of the more annoying passengers I deal with. This is the person that sits in his or her seat as we come through the aisle, watching us grow ever closer, handing out beverages. Upon reaching her row (and it's almost ALWAYS women, she is shocked and awed when asked "Something to drink?". Suddenly, her world goes dark and English is incomprehensible. Unable to process all the beverage options (because it's an airplane so the beverage options must be exotic)the individual panics and freezes. She will stare into the great abyss, floundering over her choice of Coke, Sprite or Ginger Ale until, unable to make a choice, she chooses water.
7-The Selection Impaired- Similar to "Shocked and Awed", this person can't make a decision so asks a question bound to send the flight attendant over the edge. The question? "What do you have?". IT'S AN AIRPLANE, it's not like we're reinventing soda and juice choices! Tell me what you WANT and we'll work on getting it as close as we can. 7-Up? No, but we have Sprite. Pepsi? No, but we have Coke. That sort of thing. Asking me "what do you have?" isn't going to reveal something life changing like coconut juice or the Eternal Life Serum.
8-Multi-tasker- The multi tasker simply can't be satisfied with one choice so he/she orders three. "What would you like to drink?" I ask and the Multi Tasker responds "I'd like a Coke, but don't open the can, some water and coffee". Half the time (or more) the person never drinks anywhere near all of it. I don't even know how a person can handle three drinks on those tray tables let alone drink all that! People, take one drink and if you want more, then get it.
9-The drink whisper- This one is a personal pet peeve of mine. Upon reaching a passenger and asking for their beverage choice, the person suddenly thinks he/she can communicate with the inner spirit of the beverage cart and starts talking down to the draw of soda.
Trust me, people. I've been working those carts for over a decade, the soda doesn't talk back. LOOK AT THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT when speaking. We're standing several feet from you while in a piece of metal being propelled at nearly 500 MPH by two large engines. You need to speak over ALL of that and looking down at the cans of Fresca isn't helpful!
10-The iPodder-This passenger insists that he/she can carry on a full conversation while not taking the headphones out of his/her ears. Trust me, you can't. It's also VERY rude. Take them out, look at me (not the cart) and tell me your beverage choice!

These are just a few. I'll keep you up to date on more as they come in!

15 Albums that changed YOUR world

The rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Feel free to add your 15 to my comments section.

1-Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)-Eurythmics- This album affects my view of music to this day.

2-Purple Rain-Prince-Music changed and I knew it.

3-Born in the USA-Bruce Springsteen-Raw, powerful, driven and pure American.

4-Smells Like Teen Spirit-Nirvana-Music changed again and I knew it.

5-Thriller-Michael Jackson-If someone needed one album to explain the 80's, this has to be it.

6-Mandika-Sinead O'Connor-One of the most stunning voices in the history of music.

7-I Do Not Want What I Have Not Got-Sinead O'Connor-Pain, rage and agony in music. Heartbreaking and angry. Wow.

8-Yes I Am-Melissa Etheridge-Music to come out to.

9-Hedwig and the Angry Inch Soundtrack-Various Artists-Wildly inventive, dead-on lyrical content and original beyond almost anything else.

10-Private Dancer-Tina Turner-This album brought on my love affair with The Queen of Rock and Roll.

11-On How Life Is-Macy Gray-I get every song on this album stuck in my head.

12-She's So Unusual-Cyndi Lauper-Part of the amazing rush of new talent from the early 80's that made my teenage soundtrack.

13-Greatest Hits-Creedence Clearwater Revival-The album explains a great deal of the 60's and 70's.

14-Hungry Again-Dolly Parton-Listening to an artist "re-find" herself is a wonderful moment.

15-Van Lear Rose-Loretta Lynn-Brilliant collaboration between Jack White and Loretta Lynn that makes Loretta Lynn relevant in music again.

Dad

For the last few weeks I've been thinking a lot about my father. We were seeing lots of signs that his MS was finally winning and while Dad put up an enormous struggle it was a battle we all knew he would eventually lose. Last week I got a call that his health was failing and this wouldn't be like the other times where he would bounce back and continue to amaze us all. So, I went to see him and, sadly, to say goodbye. When I walked in I found a man that I barely recognized.


It was hard to watch as Multiple Sclerosis wrestled against my Dad's will. The cruelty of the disease is unnerving. It never stops and it never tells you what's coming next. First, his coordination forced him to stop driving and then the fatigue forced him stop teaching and then essentially to stop living. When the MS left him unable to eat or drink I wondered what was left and in the end, there wasn't anything so it took him.


While I was growing up I would hear stories from family and and friends of my Dad talking about their memories of him. The stories seemed to focus on youthful high jinx and exuberance and the vitality and health of a young boy and a young man that I never knew. I thought a lot about that and the hopes and dreams he must have had but Dad was a practical man and we never discussed what those dreams were when I got older, the reality of living and fighting the good fight stepped in the way of that.

All of that got me thinking about how many people Dad touched in his life and how he touched people in such different ways. Those that knew Dad the longest remember everything that was taken from him. They remember a young, strong and tough young adult that looked nothing like the frail, dehydrated and starved man he eventually became. My experience is vastly different and those that met Dad later in life have a different understand of him still.

Each person that knew Dad had an incredibly unique relationship with him. Not a single person of the thousands that met my father, in whatever capacity, can claim that they had an identical experience with him. While this is the case with all relationships it is something still to marvel and hold dear to our hearts. He was a unique man to us and each person he knew was unique to him.





I couldn't really get out of this blog without mentioning WVU. Everyone knows what a fanatic my Dad was when it came to the Mountaineers so it doesn't seem like this would be finished unless I included something from Morgantown.


Before you read any further, watch this 10 second video clip.




Major Harris was one of the best quarterbacks (and possibly players) ever to play at WVU. He made plays that left fans simply spellbound, slack jawed and in awe. The video shows what is simply known as "The Play" to Mountaineer fans and the story after the video ends is just as compelling and THAT is the part of the story I want to tell.

A few years after the game Don Nehlen relayed the story of how "The Play" came to be. The story is simple, Major Harris simply ran the wrong play. You can see right at the beginning of the video where Major was rolling to the right while his offensive line rolled to the left. Once he made that mistake and got caught out in the flat alone he had no choice but to keep going and stutter step and fight and improvise until "The Play" became legend. Major Harris walked off the field and over to Coach Nehlen and said "Sorry coach, I ran the wrong play". Nehlen said he looked back at his star qb and said "Don't worry, Maj. We'll take results like that".

So it was with my Dad. Dad wasn't exclusive in his struggle and certainly wasn't alone in executing life's game plan wrong from time to time. We all live lives like that and Dad was no exception. Every day he struggled with what MS was doing to him physically but he never quit, never showed panic and never got angry. He simply stutter stepped (he did that literally) and improvised his way around every obstacle put in front of him. He refused to be tackled by life and stayed amazingly positive through it all. That is his legacy to all of us that knew him. Dad didn't always make the right first step but he never failed to keep going, gaining the respect of those around him, making them feel lucky to know him and me really damned proud to call him Father. And so to that I'll say "Don't worry, Dad. We'll take results like that".


May you finally be free.

Love,
Your Proud Son.

Some pictures of Costa Rica (Finally)

It took some time but I finally got some pictures together of Costa Rica. Many of you heard of our less than perfect weather that we experienced so a lot of the things we'd planned on doing didn't happen.
We spent an extra day stuck on the beach after the three continuous days of rain turned into flooding. I've got a picture of that coming soon. On the day we finally left we started the morning with an earthquake, the third of the week.
I'll have to visit Costa Rica at some point when the weather is behaving a bit better. Enjoy!